Granny Rant
Sunday, May 30, 2004
:::Weapons Of Mass Distraction :::

Hmmm ... sometimes we wonder at the thought process of our leaders.

"Things are not going well in Iraq," Mr. President.

"Oh really, how so? What's the problem now?"

"Uh ... to be blunt, we are getting our asses kicked bigtime. We do not have enough troops on the ground, pockets of resistance are popping up all over the country, we have lost over 800 Americans ..."

"That many? I thought Wolfowitz reported it to be less than that ... surely?"

"Yeah, but he was wrong on the figures. He actually did not know the current count of the dead that day before congress."

"Remind me to speak to Don on that. It is embarrassing to have the Deputy Secretary of Defense not know the number of dead troops on live TV."

"Not to mention that Congress was pissed about the Wolfowitz '$25 Billion blank check' we asked for. Anyway ... you remember the flap on the body armor? Looks like some of the parents of the troops are still having to hunt down and buy the armor on their own. Of course they are bitching over the $1600 price tag, and wondering why they can find the armor and we cannot. Plus, we cannot get enough up-armored Humvees in place. One guy up on the hill proposed we use the left over steel plates from the Striker to up-armor the Humvees, but the brass hadn't moved on it. Mr. Congressman was pissed and demanded action."

"Does that stuff they wear really cost that much?"

"Yep, and weighs a ton too. But most of the soldiers don't mind the weight."

"What else?"

"Oh, there's a bunch more."

"Get on with it then ... just a rundown."

"Ok. Since the pictures came out re our military abusing Iraqis in Abu Ghraib ...."

"Oh, that really make me boil. If I ever find out why that story go loose and went wild ..."

"I know, but it is out there now. Many are agitating for the release of the other pictures ..."

"No! No! No! We are having enough trouble now regaining support for our crusade."

"It has made the Iraqis hate us more violently. The Iraqis are selling thousands of CD copies of the abuse pictures and nobody believes it was just the few. The terrorists who have come in since the invasion are stirring up trouble everywhere. Some people are even claiming the video of the beheading of Nick Berg is a fake, and there are wag the dog rumblings."

"It'll pass, we just have to remain firm, not waiver, never falter. Just go on."

"People are getting different messages from different departments of the administration and there is confusion."


"Well, you say, 'stay the course', Bremer says we will leave if the interim Gov Council asks it, Colin is caving on us, one day we think we have a deal with Sadr, next day not, everybody that U.N. lackey picks for the turn over, the Iraqis hate, we are being slammed over Chalabi and Chalabi himself is making fun of us for 'buying into his scam.' Dowd is calling it the Bay Of Goats. The press is turning on us and reporting all kinds of stuff they skipped over during the run up, the French and Germans are salivating for the turn over, rumors abound we are shipping in WMD at night in secret ... we aren't, are we?"

"What? Don't fall for the gossip."

"What about the Sarin?"

"Let me and Dick worry about that. The Brits arrested that one bad guy ... so they're still with us."

"Ok ..."

"Go on, I'm in a hurry ... gotta give a campaign speech."

"This latest terror threat is a fiasco. Even the press is questioning why Tom Ridge is not in step with Ashcroft and Mueller, you know, not saying the same things ... about the threat and all. Could be worse ... no colors this time. My wife suggested a nice paisley or gingham for spring." Coughs nervously. "There are accusations we are again using fear of terror to control the public ... but then there were three terror explosions over the weekend ... so far. The Saudi thing is looking bad. The news line is that oil will now go up instead of down since we have notified 35,000 workers to get out of Saudi Arabia."

"Not funny."

"Neither is this. Just listen to that Cutter guy at Magic City Morning Star."

With just over five months to go before election day, it must be asked: How far would they go? With blood on their hands and God on their side, what actions would Bush & Co. consider too extreme--when the goal is to extend their control over the financial and military power of the American presidency?

The anti-Bush forces are thick with speculation, from planted WMDs, to rigged paperless balloting, to an elevated threat level "justifying" a declaration of martial law (either before the election itself, or before the January 2005 transfer of power). Some even suggest Mr. Bush might "look the other way" while al Queda launches another attack on American soil, counting on a "rally-round-the-flag" response (and the return to a ninety-percent approval rating).

Let's hope there is a moral line, somewhere, that Mr. Bush and his people will not cross. Otherwise, today's conspiracy theory may turn into November's nightmare.


"Aw, he's a nobody anyway. I was afraid it was another damn best seller blasting my performance."

"Is that it!"

"Well, you might want to put in a call to God"

"Why's that?"

"Did I mention we are running out of ammunition?"


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